2 days away from finally beginning the journey I started 2 years ago.

It feels surreal to type these words.

Not 1 year. Not 7 months. Not 30 days. 2 days.

2 days until I leave for the first time. 2 days until my world changes completely. 2 days until the routine I have more or less followed for the past 19 years of my life is about to do a 360. And honestly, I am so ready for it. I am so ready to begin this next chapter of my adult life. To spread my wings and fly. To finally "grow up."

And yet, I am so thankful for the Lord (and COVID) delaying my gap year. I though I was ready to leave last year but I now see why the Lord said to wait. If I had left a year ago I would have missed my last extended family thanksgiving and Christmas in IL. I would have missed the entire moving process and come home to South Carolina and had to begin picking up the pieces from square one. I wouldn't have gotten to say a true goodbye to all my friends because this time last year I had no clue we would be moving. I wouldn't have met Jessika Tate and explored the idea of going to Brazil. Sadly due to COVID I didn't end up going but I now have a connection point for more missions work after the Race. I got to be part of an incredible young adults ministry at our new church and have been able to process some things and step into even more freedom. I got one more year to watch my siblings grow up and be a part of our family unit. I got to work at a CFA that quickly became family and helped me heal from my previous bad experience working at a CFA. All these things and so much more never would have happened if I had ignored the Lord saying no to Gap Year 2020. This past year has been a blessing.

Thank you Jesus.

COVID has taken a toll on every element of everyday life and Gap Year is not an exception. Things have had to change and adjust. I am learning what true flexibility looks like and how to trust the Lord even when I don't understand. If I am being honest I had falsely hoped lat year that if I just delayed by a year everything would be mostly back to normal. Well....I think we all know that didn't pan out quite the way I had hoped haha.

Having to come to terms with the fact that things are still weird and possibly even weirder in the world right now has been really difficult. But it has also allowed me to really press into what it looks like to accept change and respect the authority of those in leadership. I don't always have to fully agree with or understand decisions that are made but I am called to listen and obey. I have placed myself under their leadership and I need to be willing to come under that. 

As I was journaling out what I "want" gap year to look like the Lord led me to these verses: Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, an all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

What a great reminder that all I can do is seek the Lord and go with the flow.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me the last 2 years, it means more than you could ever know. Next stop: Gainesville, GA